On Saturday, Patrick and I were driving to the Habitat for Humanity Restore to get some wood blinds for the house (yay for restores). It was a beautiful day and we had the windows down and were listening to some music. I turned the music down and said I really feel like I’ve been struggling lately and I decided I’m tired of it. Patrick looked at me and said What have you been struggling with?
I then proceeded to talk about all my fears with owning my own business that I have been swallowing for months now and not owning up to. About how working toward a set goal instead of just being magically transported there was so frustrating. Patrick then asked what made you decide to stop? To be very honest, I don’t know what kicked up inside of me to stop being worried about these things and to just let them happen. I simply know that I have fallen into the trap that I have heard many other photographers talk about: the comparison game. I have been looking at other photographers’ work who have been in business longer, shooting longer, and just all around more experienced and comparing myself to them.
It is a slippery slope to be on when you follow so many other photographers’ blogs. I love seeing the work that my fellow photographers and friends put out but lately it has made me feel inadequate about where I am.
Then one day I just said enough. Kind of screamed it actually…to my computer…Koty Little jumped. It is frustrating to not be where you want to be. It is even more frustrating when you look around and stop thinking about what you have and what you have accomplished, and are blinded by how amazing everyone else is.
So Patrick smiled at me and said I tried to tell you to be happy with where you are (hmmmph…don’t like admitting that he’s right). But I think we should go back to celebrating every little success. When I first started my business with every new inquiry and every new booking, we would have a mini party just the two of us. Somewhere along the way we slowed down with it and then just stopped all together.
After our conversation I also decided on another new course of action. I usually write down my to dos of what I must accomplish during a week and I was in the process of doing that for this week when I came up with another idea. Instead of just writing down my weekly to dos, what if I write down my weekly goals.
However, the most important thing that I am forced to keep in mind is that you can’t flip a switch and magically be transported to the last step.